IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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