Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
