remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize