i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
