This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
