True but thats because hes a fetus.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
