Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize