If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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