So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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