Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
