he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
