I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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