I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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