I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
