Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
