A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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