my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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