Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize