So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Randomize
