I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
