ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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