Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
