You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
vagina is talking i cant
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
