Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
