Plan B is the new Plan A
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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