i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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