i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
