i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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