honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
