Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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