He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
