opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
