legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
