You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
