His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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