Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
