if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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