we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize