I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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