What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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