did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
