she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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