Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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