Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize