update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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