I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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