So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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