Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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