I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize