ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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