i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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