whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
