I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
