apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
