I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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