Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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