do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i wish my penis had a tongue
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
