just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
