just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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