her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
They have beer where we have blood.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize