Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize