69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
